BULLETIN ARTICLE – 5 August 2018
HANDLING CONFLICTS
How do you handle conflict? Has someone offended you lately? Or caused you to feel hurt or resentful? It may be something a church member, a family member or colleague said about you. Often the guilty party is unaware they have offended you. When we feel offended and bear a grudge, we are the ones who suffer, not those who have hurt us. When Paul and Barnabas prepared for their second missionary journey, a conflict arose between them. Both have great spiritual maturity and have worked together for several years. They have shown humility and deference to each other and are passionate about the issue that is causing the conflict.
Quarrel in love. Our lofty idealism advocates that Christians should be perfect. However, truth forces us to admit that perfection is rare even among respected Christian leaders. We are imperfect and it is necessary for God to help sort out our imperfections. Prov 15:1 says: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Conflict itself is not always the issue. The fact that these two godly men, Paul and Barnabas, are in conflict shows that conflict is common to everyone. The conflict is described as a “sharp disagreement” which is contentious or provoking. That is why their actions were less than godly. Paul later writes in 1 Cor 13:5 that love “is not easily angered”.
What caused this sharp conflict between Paul and Barnabas? Barnabas lived up to his name “son of encouragement” which is how he wants to treat and serve others. While others were afraid, he courageously reached out to Saul, the persecutor of the Jerusalem church, bringing him before the apostles. He was sent by the Jerusalem church to help the Antioch church when the Gentiles responded in large numbers to the gospel of Jesus. He saw people more for their potential than for what they were doing currently. He places value on relationships more than on getting tasks done. Paul’s personality is different. Not that he was not an encourager or did not value relationships but he was very goal and task oriented. He wanted to see things accomplished and was not always patient with those that were hindering those goals from being reached. He had concerns about fulfilling the God-given goals and standing up for commitment and dependability rather than sometimes catering to the feelings of others. This enabled him to be bold in preaching and daring to confront those who strayed away and sinned.
The tragedy here is the way this conflict took place and was resolved. They could have come to a good agreement and going their separate ways without this “sharp disagreement”. Still God allowed the split between Barnabas and Paul which resulted in an increase in the missionary teams going out because now there are two teams instead of one. History vindicated Barnabas who proved himself an able and faithful worker. He eventually reunited and reconciled with Paul and Paul reconciled with John Mark. An old proverb says, “He that will have none, but a perfect brother must resign himself to remain brotherless.”
